A Working Diary. Simon Stephens. The condensed version.
At [the Court/the National/the Royal Exchange]. I like it here.
Saw [insert playwright]’s new play. It was ok.
/profound line break/
I know so much about theatre. I know the ins and outs. I know what makes theatre function. I know audiences. I know what it means to be a writer. I know how to theatre.
Today, I went to [bar/hotel/restaurant/pub/theatre] in [Manchester/London/Berlin/New York].
I like this [bar/hotel/restaurant/pub/theatre] because twenty years ago I had a [meeting/play/drink] here.
It was when I was very young. I’m older now.
There are is some [alcohol/theatre/food] that reminds me of a scene from a play I wrote called THREE KINGDOMS. THREE KINGDOMS was partly a good play because I wrote it and also partly a good play because it was very influential.
I’m getting older now and I’m worried that I might have already written my best sex scenes.
My wife and the mother of my children came to see my play. It’s about a woman who kills her baby. My wife didn’t like it. Genuinely can’t understand her. It’s a fucking great play.
In New York. New York is great.
I wish I was as clever as Katie Mitchell.
Sometime in August who even gives a fuck anymore
Went out for lunch with [any middle-aged straight white man in the theatre industry]. We talked about [any Simon Stephens play since 2014]. It’s going to be great. Everyone’s going to love it.
Back in Manchester. I like Manchester. Am a bit drunk.
I’ve written a good play. It’s really good. I think it might change the course of Manchester’s history. Manchester will never be the same after this play.
I don’t read reviews but apparently everyone, including people in Manchester, hates my new play. I don’t understand. Maybe it’s shit. I thought it was quite good.
I went on Twitter and tweeted something. Everyone loved it.
Lol I’m hung over.
In [Manchester/London/Berlin/New York].
Had a biscuit.
I don’t read reviews. I know in my heart of hearts of hearts whether the play I wrote is good, and it always is.
Next year I’m going to write some good plays.